Easily Broken

I don't think people realize how mentally weak I can be. Growing up a gymnast I was always told that I was weak. My mind would be easily attacked and broken down. This is nothing new to me. Every day is a fight. My mind tells me I sucks and I push it back with the little hope that I have. I am my biggest critic. I always have been... nothing is good enough and no one is telling me that but myself. I always mess things up. At least thats how I feel. Perfection is the goal... the goal that will never be reached.
I will always find that one person that hates me. Hates me for no reason and it shouldn't, but it kills me. I will never be good enough for that person. Now the weird thing is I don't care at all if people my age hate my guts. That doesnt matter to me.. they have nothing over me, but when adults hate me, thats when it gets to me. It hurts. I'm that kid that parents love.... cocky to say, but true. I like being that kid. I'm the good one. Maybe its not that I hate when adults hate me.. its when I can feel someone judging me. I hate when I'm judged. Its the worst feeling ever.. especially when the person doesn't know your story. That kills. Little does that person know how much I try to get on their good side, but it never works. Nothing I could do or say would make them happy. I'm not good enough. No matter what.
I can be a very strong person. I really can, but when people poke at my insecurities I think about it the rest of the day. I think about how much I suck at math or how I am too fat. Things like this just get me really easily. People don't usually see that, but words hurt. Especially when you try your hardest at everything and thats still not good enough. A perfectionist like me does not do well in a world where inperfection is constantly coming their way. Thats all.