The New Annie

I don't exactly know how to start this off since it has been such a long time since I was last on here. It has been more then a year since I was on this website and who knows how long its been since I have written on it. I was inspired by my friend Katelyn to start writing on here again. She started her own blog and as I was reading it I remembered how much I missed being able to put all my thoughts out there. Katelyn is such an amazing writer. I can't live up to her. At all. My writing is very... simple. I say whats on my mind and I make it clear and to the point.. Katelyn does the same, but she is very good at going into detail and using these beautiful words and such. She is so talented at writing. I'm not like that. I probably will never be like that and maybe I'm a terrible writer, but I know its something I love to do. It helps me through the hard times. So even though I might suck at writing... I'm gonna do it anyways. I'm gonna write my little heart out, I'm going to show you me and I'm going to find myself during this. Hopefully.

This year is so different from last year. Last year was amazing and even though I was homeschooled and I never felt like I fit in.. I knew me. At least more then I do this year. I think. I was very secure in myself and who I was and how God made me. I didn't feel like I had anything to prove to anyone. This year that all changed. I began to feel like complete shit... there are so many things I can list that I was insecure about, but I don't want to name all of them... maybe in other posts I will go into more detail about my struggles. I know I have reasons for why I am the way I am, but people judge without knowing the whole story and that sucks. No one really cares why everything in your life is the way it is they just know that you're not as good as them and thats good enough for them. They can go to sleep at night knowing that they are better and they will be completely satisfied with their lives because they can look at yours and know they have it better. I know a lot of people that are like that and it kills me.

So here I am putting it all out there and there is only one reason that I am so open about my personal problems, I'm not alone. I am not the only one who goes through these things... sure my journey is A LOT different from most girls, but I'm not the only one that feels like they don't belong or that I am not good enough. I know I'm not alone. There is no reason to hide my feelings... so I'm  not going to. So here is to a fresh start. Here is to going from frustrated, depressed, angry and sad to believing in myself even as things go wrong because no matter what things go wrong and theres nothing you can do, but push through the pain and the heartache.

I'm not really sure how to sign this yet.... hahaha I'll figure it out eventually. My cousin signs hers "Always Abby" and I think thats so cute, but I can't take that. I'll do some brainstorming and think of something hopefully.


- Annie