Can't find the words

There is so much to say, but I can't find my way. The words won't come out. They won't make sense. The thoughts go through my head and it's always so much at one time and there is always so much feeling to it, but I can't describe it. Maybe it's a certain saddness that I just won't let come out of my mouth. Maybe it is because I'm scared to say them or write them down because I'll look at them and it won't be good enough. Indescribable. That's what it is. I want to write about everything I'm going through and all of my troubles and all of my feelings, but maybe the words I say don't matter... maybe it just won't change anything. I know it won't. It can't fix anything. I don't understand myself a lot of the time, but then again who does? Does anyone have themselves totally figured out? I know I don't. I know a lot about myself for a 17 year old girl, but I certainly do not know everything about me. That's part of why we live.. to figure out who we are and it's not going to be easy. Never will be.